


Atonement

by CapnShellhead



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Apology Blowies, Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Civil War, Rimming, Rough Sex, Submission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 03:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15986216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnShellhead/pseuds/CapnShellhead
Summary: Tony introduced Steve to several new aspects of the future: methods of transportation, foods, customs, etc.When he screwed up in the field, he introduced Steve to a new form of apology.





	Atonement

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had this written 5 different ways before I settled on this one. Hopefully you all enjoy it!
> 
> Apology blowies are an interesting thing to write because trying to figure out a semi "realistic" way for them to broach the subject was fun ;) 
> 
> For the "sadness" square on my bingo card.

It started as a joke.

One of those jokes where Tony felt the need to say the words, to get them out there lest he bury them under layers and layers of denial and they came out anyway when he couldn’t deny them. Captain America leading the Avengers has been the right call. Several of the founding members had led and leadership passed from week to week but Cap lead this days and that made sense.

Cap was a great leader: kind, gracious, strategic and clever. He had a temper occasionally but it was buried beneath several layers of impossible patience. Tony had no problem with Steve leading the team. There was the minor issue of Steve’s commanding voice making Tony’s cock stand at attention.

Particularly when he was yelling at him.

It didn’t happen all the time and Tony might not have even noticed it were it not for Loki sending his armor to another dimension one day. Bare, unable to hide his reaction behind titanium alloy, Tony had to acknowledge that he might have some issues.

Cap tore him a new one for going out half-cocked and Tony’s mind supplies some awful word play. Steve was serious, his voice commanding and powerful and Tony felt something in him beg to roll over and be a good boy.

Steve stopped his tirade and asked, “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Tony grinned, the words coming out before he could stop them, “I screwed up, I get that. I’ve said I’m sorry. Do you want an apology blowie?”

Steve blinked at him, anger letting up for a moment as he cocked his head to the side in confusion, mouthing Tony’s words. “What?”

Tony backtracked a little, “You know, a little way to say sorry.  With my mouth. But not like... with words.” He cringed internally, wishing he could stop talking forever.

Steve pushed his cowl back from his head and covered his mouth. Tony wondered if he was gearing up for another rant but instead, Steve turned, his shoulders shaking. Tony started to wonder if he’d brought Captain America to tears but then he hears the quiet intake of breath.

He was laughing.

Steve finally turned, clearing his throat, his eyes bright. “You’re serious?” He was smiling, clearly not offended but beneath that... intrigued? Probably from the idea. “People do that?”

“Some,” Tony replied. He guessed. He wasn’t sure people did it outside of porn. “It’s effective. No hard feelings. So to speak.”

Steve laughed, averting his eyes as he leaned against the conference room table. His eyes shot to the closed door and back to Tony. “I’m still pretty ticked off at you.”

Tony shrugged, “Just a suggestion.” He started to head towards the door when Steve spoke up.

“We could try it.” Tony’s breath caught, sure his ears deceived him. He turned to see Steve watching him quietly. “If you want to make it up to me that way.”

 _God, yes._ “If you’re up for it.” He held Steve’s gaze as he backed into the door and flipped the lock. There were cameras in here but he could deal with those later. Steve watched him as he came over to stand before Steve and swallowed. Then he slowly sank down to his knees.

Steve shifted, planting his feet more solidly on the ground as Tony reached forward and took hold of his belt. He pulled that off and set it aside; it was surprisingly heavy. Steve’s stomach rose and fell softly, his eyes focused on Tony as he unbuttoned Steve’s pants and unzipped them. Steve drew in a breath as Tony freed him from his pants, his stomach tightening as Tony stroked him gently.

Steve was huge.

Tony had always suspected: Steve was a big guy. Not much taller than Tony but he was thick. He was thick everywhere, by the looks of things. His cock is long, at least ten inches and thicker than Tony’s wrist. He was wet at the tip, a few strokes of Tony’s hand built copious amounts of precome around the swollen head. He was awfully wet despite Tony having not touched him yet.

Tony moved in closer, rising up on his knees as he breathed wetly over the head of Steve’s cock. Steve’s thighs tense, cock jerking a little in Tony’s grasp. Tony’s eyes lit up with excitement as he dipped his tongue into the slick mess. His eyes fell shut as Steve’s taste washed over his tongue, lapping over the head more solidly.

He was going to enjoy this.

He slid his tongue along the underside of Steve’s cock in a long line, tracing the veins. Steve’s hands clenched on the edge of the table as he watched, straining to keep his eyes from falling shut. Tony’s tongue traced the slit teasingly, more focused when it drew more precome to the surface. He swiped his tongue over it, relishing in the bitter taste before holding Steve’s gaze and letting the head slide into his mouth with a quiet pop.

Steve sucked in a breath, face flushed as Tony stroked him and suckled on the head. His mouth was so hot and wet, leading Steve to hold onto the table lest he buck his hips and choke Tony. He painted, his stomach contracting as he restrained himself. Tony’s eyes closed, lips red and shiny as he sucked more and more of Steve’s cock into his mouth.

His clever hands rolled Steve’s balls as he began to bob his head. The wet sucking sounds bright a soft flush to his cheeks and the slightest shame because he knew what this looked like. By now, Steve must realize how eager he’d been, how hard he is in his slacks. He felt a large hand cup the back of his head and his eyes snapped up to Steve’s.

Steve looked wrecked, his lips red where he’d bitten down on them, his face red with the slightest sheen of sweat. Steve was enjoying this. Steve wanted more of this. He pet Tony’s head softly, his groaning low in his throat as Tony took more of him into his mouth. Tony watches him pant, bit down more groans as he sucked ardently. Steve had so much control, held himself almost painfully still least he feed Tony too much.

Tony wished he would. He wished Steve would hold him down and fill his mouth, use him to come. Steve was so rarely selfish and the thought of him losing control made Tony’s cock jerk hard and wet in his briefs. He dropped a hand to himself, pressing down with the heel of his hand as he worked his mouth.

Steve stiffened, his fingers reined in Tony’s hair as he whispered, “Tony, I’m - I’m close.”  Tony worked harder, pulling up to suck at the head, jerking Steve into his mouth. Steve let out a near inaudible whine that hit Tony like a shockwave. He groaned, spilling in his briefs as Steve’s cock pulsed hard and shot over his tongue. Tony sucked dumbly, milking Steve for all he was worth and holding his hips for balance.

His body was on fire, all focus on gathering more of Steve’s taste as he shook. Finally, he pulled off with a wet sound and placed a soft kiss to the head. Steve was panting like he’d run a marathon, his face lax and near dazed. He pulled Tony to his feet and into a hug.

Tony laughed, unsure the proper protocol here. He hugged Steve back, his voice hesitant, “We good?”

“We’re good, Shellhead.”

+

It wasn’t often Steve apologized to Tony.

He could be stubborn, sure, but Tony felt that, with most things, it was his fault. Steve regretted that and was sure he’d had a hand in that mentality. It only made him more determined to apologize when he was in the wrong.

So, he knocked on Tony’s door around nine o’clock at night. Tony answered the door in a loose t-shirt and jeans, his hair wet and a little wavy, the way Steve liked it. His face warmed and he cleared his throat before speaking.

“Tony, about today-“

Tony waved a hand, “Don’t worry about it, Cap.” He strode over to his dresser, the back of his shirt rolled up where the cotton stuck to his wet skin and revealing a bare strip of tanned skin. Steve’s mouth went dry as he wrung his hands a little and closed the door behind him. Tony moved to stand in front of the bed, watching Steve curiously.

“If you don’t want the traditional apology,” he could barely get the words out, he was so nervous. “I’d be happy to give the unorthodox one.”

It took a moment for the words to process and then Tony shot him an incredulous look. Steve managed to look affronted enough that Tony started to look ashamed.

Then he asked rather meekly, “Really? You’d do that?” At first glance, he appeared as though he was trying to gently let Steve down. Steve started to backtrack and tell him not to worry about it but he could see branch the surface, a light tinge of red to Tony’s cheeks and the excited flint in his eye.

Steve squared his shoulders and strode forward. He kneeled in front of Tony and eyed him steadily as he reached for Tony’s zipper. Tony’s eyes widened, as did his legs. Steve pulled him out and panted wetly over the head, hearing Tony’s breath catch as his cock hardened in Steve’s grip. Tony watched avidly as Steve licked a brazen stripe from the root to the tip. He did it again, tracing the veins teasingly and feeling heat pool in his stomach when Tony tensed in anticipation.

There were a number of things Steve had always wanted to try; quite a few he’d only ever imagined doing to Tony. He couldn’t do all of them; it’d be dishonest to take this opportunity to explore them but he let himself give in to one of them. He stroked Tony solidly and thumbed the sensitive spot beneath the hood. Precome leaked from the head, caught on Steve’s tongue as he lapped at Tony solidly. And again, as he earned more. Steve could engulf the head; he was sure that was what Tony was waiting for.

Instead, he got his broad shoulders beneath Tony’s thighs, pushing him back to sit on the bed as Steve spread him open and swiped his tongue over Tony’s perineum. Tony gasped, his balls tightening as Steve followed the trail up and sucked them into his mouth one by one. Tony squirmed, thighs tensing around Steve’s shoulders as he held him open and focused. He pulled off and sucked a mark into the strip of skin before sliding down and lapping over the tightly furled entrance. Tony gasped, arching as Steve lapped over it again.

He knew this wasn’t quite part of the apology but he got lost in swiping his tongue over the dusky entrance and feeling it tense and relax beneath him. Steve’s hands were broad and strong on Tony’s inner thighs as he held him against the bed and licked a stripe from Tony’s hole to the leaking tip of his cock. Tony was flushed dark red, near purple at the head as he writhed and bit down on his lip. Steve’s stomach tightened as he pressed the pad of his thumb to Tony’s contracting entrance and took the head in his mouth.

Tony nearly bucked off the bed, or he would have if Steve’s hold hadn’t been so strong. He covered his face, “God, Steve, _Steve,”_ he whined, his cock pulsing on Steve’s tongue. Steve sucked lightly, massaging the entrance teasingly before the tip of his thumb dipped inside. He sucked hard on Tony’s cock, taking it down as Tony cried out and came down Steve’s throat, his wet heat clenching around Steve’s thumb. Steve cock jerked hard in his pants, near coming as he worked his mouth.

He dropped a hand to his pants, quickly pulling himself out as he pulled up to suckle on the head of Tony’s cock. Tony was panting now, his chest rising and falling quickly as he came down. Steve groaned, burying his face in Tony’s inner thigh, his scent as he brought himself off in three strokes. He worked quietly, breathing wetly on Tony’s thigh as Tony touched his head.

Steve looked up at him, taking in the mess of wet curls and the slightly dazed look. His bright red lips from biting them in pleasure. Steve’s stomach clenched, cock taking interest again but more than that, Steve wanted to see him like this more often. He wanted to see Tony like this all the time. But this was a one off. Or it would be unless Steve screwed up again. Tony wasn’t actually interested in him this way, although a part of him certainly appeared to be.

Steve sighed, tucking himself in and gathering himself as he stood. Tony watched him curiously. “You don’t have to go, you know?” He asked and Steve smiled.

 _No, I really do,_ he thought.

“It’s late. I’ll see you, Shellhead,” he said and left quietly.

+

Tony came to Steve quite a bit afterwards.

Sometimes with things Steve had chastised him for, sometimes with things he’d chastised himself over. It became a release for Tony to offer himself to Steve for reprimand. A few nights, Steve lay awake after and wonder if he was doing more harm than good by participating. Maybe it wasn’t healthy for Tony to exalt Steve as the arbiter of absolution.

In the oddest of ways, it had become a form of service, of _worship_ for Tony.

And rather than risk the consequence and inevitable self-condemnation should he end it, Steve tried to make it even. Whenever he found fault within himself either for being too critical or too ignorant of Tony’s needs, he knelt before him. Whenever he found himself losing touch with Tony because SHIELD kept him busy, he found himself at the Tower one night.

It was never truly balanced; it never could be with Tony’s personalized brand of self-debasement. But it was as close as Steve could manage short of refusing to let Tony continue.

They never stayed long afterwards. Steve never slept beside Tony. They never even kissed.

Then Stamford happened.

Then the war happened.

Steve found himself kneeling over Tony on the cold ground, his shield raised above his head and between one breath and the next, he couldn’t for the life of him understand how he’d gotten there.

Then he’d found himself in a jail cell.

The door slid open and Tony entered the room in his armor. The sight of it stoked the fire in Steve’s body once more, burning hotter the longer they sat in silence. Tony wore a mask all the time now. He probably thought it made him look strong; but Steve had never seen him so weak. Tony used to be the kind of man that liked his boots on the ground, so to speak. To do things in person and not simply delegate others to do his bidding, despite running a company for so long.

But quite a bit of the war had been sending others, their _friends,_ to do his dirty work.

Sometimes Steve had to shake himself to believe this wasn’t a lengthy nightmare.

“Come to gloat?” Steve asked finally.

Silence.

“You got what you wanted,” Steve muttered.

Tony shifted ever so slightly in his armor, his voice tinny through the modulator, “You think this is what I wanted?”

“A victory?” Steve asked, leaning back against the cool surface of the wall behind him.

“This isn’t a victory,” Tony replied snappily. “If you think it is-“

“Take that damn thing off,” Steve demanded suddenly, cutting Tony off. Tony quieted, standing there expressionlessly before there was the quiet sound of the suit opening to let him out.

War changed people. Steve knew that better than most, though by all accounts, he appeared the same throughout. For Tony, it meant quite a surprising drop in weight, even deeper shadows beneath his eyes and that expression that gave Steve nightmares.

Apathy.

It had never looked right on Tony’s face and Steve swore it was the result of whatever Tony had done to himself with Extremis. Steve should have tried to help him. Tried harder to make him realize the negative effects. He should have been a better friend but he’d been so caught up with Bucky and work and then the SHRA happened and there wasn’t enough time.

Steve had lost yet another friend to a war.

“This isn’t a victory, Steve,” he said carefully. “I didn’t want this. In fact, I did everything I could to avoid this but you wouldn’t-“

“Roll over?”

“Listen to me,” he spat. “You always think you know best and refuse to hear what anyone else has to say.”

“When you’re wrong, you’re wrong.” Steve bit his lip but the words spilled out before he could contain them, “You rolled over and showed your belly the second you realized the fight would be harder than you thought. So, a few big wigs in Washington didn’t respond well to your facts and figures, so what? It happens. They sit there and do their best to make sure they get re-elected. They don’t care about the people on the ground.”

“Do you?” Tony demanded, stepping closer. “Who are you referring to exactly? Our friends or the grieving families that lost their children in Stamford? Because you weren’t exactly thinking about them when you told the government to shove it.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” Steve asked, standing from the bench. “I don’t care? How can you say that to me when everything I’ve done has been for them?”

“It’s easy to pick and choose how to serve,” Tony said quietly, averting his eyes. “They gave you an option. This is what they asked for and you wouldn’t even hear them out.”

“Laws aren’t always fair, Tony. I know you know that.”

“I do. But this one could have been,” Tony replied, raising his gaze to meet Steve’s. “I was working on it. I was making deals to make changes, to make it fairer, less restrictive. But you couldn’t wait!”

Steve’s belly burned with anger, his eyes trained on Tony as he went on, “You had to push them, give them even more reason not to trust you. And now I can’t help you, Steve! I can’t get you out of this.”

He sighed, his eyes wet as he raised his hands helplessly. “I thought of every possible play, every contingency. That’s what I’m good at: putting all the moving parts together, the variables and even the outlandish possibilities and I come up with a plan that works. Maybe it’s not perfect and maybe it’s not something I like doing, but I commit. I follow through. It keeps people safe. It kept you safe.”

Something about his tone, the way his eyes kept dipping down… it made Steve aware of the fact that Tony wasn’t simply talking about the SHRA or the 50 States Initiative. How long had he been playing puppetmaster behind the scenes?

“How safe was I if you were lying to me?” he asked and Tony stiffened, blanching as he crossed his arms tight to his chest.

“You weren’t in jail,” he said somberly. He ran a tired hand over his head and added, “That was something.”

He sighed and covered his face, “This isn’t what I came here for. I didn’t come here to fight.” He dropped his hands and looked Steve in the eye. “I came here to say I’m sorry.”

Steve gaped at him.

“For how everything turned out.” He swallowed, “You’re my friend and I-“

Steve laughed, giving Tony pause. He looked to Tony, his gaze unreadable, “You’re sorry? That’s what you came here to say to me?” he demanded.

He moved in closer, his body tight with barely contained anger. Tony had rarely been on the other side of that stare. Even having spent the better part of the last few months as Steve’s adversary, he’d never quite grown used to it.

“You’re a brilliant man, Tony. I don’t have to tell you that; you know it. You spent the past few months putting your mind to work coming up with the most effective ways to lock your friends away in prison. And all because we had the guts to stand up for our beliefs.”

“You’re here because you surrendered, Steve,” he began but Steve wasn’t finished.

“You turned your back on everything we had, as teammates – as _friends_ \- as partners!” He spat, turning his back and pacing closer to the bench. “And now you wanna tell me you’re _sorry._ ”

A moment of silence as Steve tried to calm his breathing, hands clenched tight at his sides as he sat down on the bench once more.

Finally, “I don’t know what to say to make you understand,” Tony said quietly. “I could tell you it isn’t personal but it is,” Steve turned around, watching Tony consider him for a moment. “It’s unbelievably personal.”

A beat and then Tony was reaching for the cell door. Steve’s breath caught, heart ticking up a beat as Tony entered in a code and the door opened.

Tony closed it behind himself, his hand hovering on it for a moment as he turned towards Steve, his gaze fierce with resolution. He took a few steps and dropped to his knees, his eyes holding Steve’s as he closed the distance between them and nosed into Steve’s crotch. Steve shifted ever so slightly, anger still fueling his blood as he gripped the bench so tightly it groaned in response.

Tony’s eyes fell shut, long lashes fanning out over his cheeks as he nuzzled Steve’s bulge for a moment. Almost as if psyching himself up before he reached for Steve’s zipper. Steve could stop him, one word and he knew Tony would back away. It wasn’t as though this would have any effect whatsoever on Steve’s feelings for him at the moment.

But he suspected Tony knew that.

Even as he reached into Steve’s pants and pulled out his soft cock, Steve got the sense that Tony didn’t believe this would truly help anything. It was such a hopeless cause that Steve nearly found Tony pitiable. Perhaps he would have had he not been incredibly aware of what led to him being in this cell.

Tony didn’t bother stroking Steve to make him harden. Instead, he ran his tongue along the velvety underside, his breathing soft and barely audible, leaving a chill the path he made. Steve held himself still, watching Tony slide his tongue over the length, stroking softly as he worked. His mouth closed hot and wet around the head, his eyes closed in worship as he suckled and slowly took more of it inside. Steve was half hard now and Tony didn’t seem to notice; taking comfort in the practice.

It made sense: Tony had always found some sort of comfort in service to Steve.

But Steve wasn’t interested in Tony’s comfort at the moment.

Sliding his gloved hands over Tony’s head, he pulled him in close, listening to him choke around the length. Only momentarily, the longer Steve held him there, the more he adjusted. Steve listened to him swallow wetly in the quiet room and a sickening thought occurred: _for once, Tony was mercifully silent._

Tony shifted slightly, his eyes watering beneath his lashes but he did nothing to stop it. In fact, after spreading his knees, he calmed immediately. Completely at Steve’s mercy: the way he liked it.

Steve pushed his head back, letting his cock fall from Tony’s mouth as he got a better look at his face. Mouth bruised and wet with saliva, lashes wet and his eyes soft in submission: Tony was in quite a state. And Steve wanted to make an even bigger mess of him. He took hold of his cock and traced the swollen curve of Tony’s bottom lip, eating up the way Tony’s eyes darkened with hunger.

He behaved himself, sitting calmly as Steve gripped his jaw and slid the head past his lips. Tony held it in his mouth, shivering with the need to take more but he complied. _Such a good lap dog._ Steve should have known better than to expect him not to roll over and show his belly for the government; he’d behaved so well for Steve.

He pushed in deeper, his grip tightening as rage reignited his blood. He pulled Tony the rest of the way down, stomach tightening in pleasure as he watched his length disappear inch by inch. He had to admit, Tony was beautiful like this: his lips swollen and stretched tight around Steve’s girth, tear tracks on his cheeks. Steve held him there before giving Tony a brief respite and shoving in deep. His hips bucked, hand held tight to the back of Tony’s head.

Tony choked, shoulders stiffening. Steve waited, wondering if he’d finally found Tony’s limit. Instead, Tony let out a stifled keen, his face going lax momentarily. “My god, Tony,” he rasped, gripping Tony’s hair as he shook and took hold of Steve’s leg. Steve pulled him back, listening to his desperate gasps for breath as his cock pulsed and spilled messily over Tony’s face. He panted, kneeling between Steve’s thighs as Steve painted him in white.

Tony sighed, hungrily leaning in to lap at the head once more. Steve bit off a moan, falling back against the wall as Tony took him into his mouth. Oversensitive and wrung out, it was too much and his cock jerked near painfully in Tony’s mouth, spilling more across his tongue. Tony kept him there, building him up higher and higher until he shoved his fist in his mouth to muffle a scream.

Finally, Tony let up the pressure. But rather than release Steve, he took him softly on his tongue and rest his cheek on Steve’s thigh. His face was covered in drying come and saliva, his mouth swollen and bruised, lashes clumped together: Tony was a mess.

A mess of Steve’s own making.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit and send me prompts on [tumblr](capn-shellhead.tumblr.com).


End file.
